M.A.T.H

Malthusian Absurdist Techno-fascist Hiddigarians

(We did the math and there's too many people)

In solving today's problems we need futurist intrusions

More applicable than Fukuyama

More relatable than transhumans

Not Aryan, Machiavellian, or Identitarian

We are the Malthusian Absurdist Techno-fascist Hiddigarians

Malthusian in nature

Our solution eugenic and astute

We see all life as equally purposeless and acute

Absurdist in application

Our demeanor silly and sophisticated

We are the comfortable mix of casual and incorporated

Techno-fascist by temperance

The part with little process or exaltation

We become less empathetic with each trail and degradation

Hiddigarian by default

In pain from work and being

We are at loss from meaning by shitting and eating

Built from the bottom up

People are at the core of our company

You might say they are foundational

A blueprint of the building would be more horrific than informational

Our food, like our company, is made up and by our workers

We'll be upfront with this one..., soylent green is human matter

No quips from you; we proactively remove the spleen, teeth, and bladder

How about Hygiene?

Our motto is to create a completely circular apparatus

No waste, no water

M.A.T.H totally cares about your dead ecosystems status

Soap, Shampoo, and Shaving?

Whatever you're using, I can promise you its not maybelene

Still functional, cold turns it to ice and heat to steam

Phosphorus fluid funds and pumps through your system

Its ere glow, electrifies, and ignites porous pistons

Visibly ere and ugly to the sight

It keeps the gears turning and the lights on at night

Your streets, cars, and factories fueled by this same process

The arms that make your synthetic food powered by your corpses and asses

Consumption powers production ingenious and efficient

This circular system will never lack raw material or access

And now we reach the end of the presentation

Thanks for listening to our screening

M.A.T.H thanks you for your time

And hopes you have a wonderful evening

The M.A.T.H. Brand

There's no way around it

Our business is in people

We try our best to hide that fact

To do so we use logistics and PR tact

In everything, we add M.A.T.H.s personal touch

Our approach and shadowing might seem a bit much

We insert ourselves passively so you don't put up a fight

M.A.T.H. wakes you up in the morning, and tucks you in at night

For agents we don’t use HR or personal

We aggressively use drones

No paycheck, benefits, or company phones

In everything service with a smile

We handle all your deaths with humour and gile

Our bots have personality and wit

They tell you jokes and call you a git

Your privacy is our primary concern

Without ears or fears our devices have nothing to learn

Our bots care about your personal feelings

They simply watch for your final twitches and congealings

When you’re finally gone, we have one final feature

As a company, M.A.T.H hates to collect any corpse or creature

M.A.T.H plays you off with your personal song

From experience, hopefully it doesn't take too long

Once collected, our drones handle your corpse with care

Everyone dies eventually, you have to pay your fair share

We contact your family and tell them your gone

We cut and grind you up, and the lights stay on

Steve Smith

My name is Steve Smith

And I'm the head of the company

I wrote this statement

So that you would know I'm funny

Steven Schubert Smith

Hip with the kids

I've smoked some weeds and drank some beers

I worked my way to the top and it took 5 years

This is the speech writer, this man's insufferable

I'm paid by the hour, below minimum wage

He messed with my wife, and ruined my life

Too bad he doesn't pay for me to write the whole page

Likeable and funny a relatable guy

I used do drugs, but now I don't get high

I have two kids, a wife, and my own house

I raise my kids and I love my spouse

This is the speech writer, that parts off a bit

His wife is a twat, and half the time he can hardly shit

Mentally disturbed, his wife doesn't even sleep in the same bed

His children are meth addicts, one might even be dead

Socially active and physically fit

My life is amazing and socially lit

I thank god for the gifts I've inherited

And am grateful for the acclimation the is merited

Speech writer, I obviously wrote the last part

I wanted to show that he has humor and heart

He spends half his time and money in bars and blow

The rest, so his wierdo fetishes don't show

In conclusion, I am an amazing man

One of which is humble and incredibly tan

There's the humor again I try to be hilarious

When I'm in meetings it drives the workers totally hysterious

For the last time, he’s more melanoma than relatable

His tiny penis, personality, and eye twitch make him totally undateable

For fifty grand, my ex-partner said it was the worst sex of her life

If she had a time machine she'd beat him up and stab him with a knife

Our product - Removal and Retrieval

M.A.T.H offers a variety of packages

From removal to retrieval, we try our best

In taking care of your corpses put M.A.T.H. to the test

Is your dying family member vile and precocious?

With bile and gas that is gross and atrocious

Rap them in M.A.T.H.'s famous body container with tag

We remove the body and at the cost free it’s a snag

Did you finally take care of that annoying cousin with a lisp

Couldn't escape the house, fire burnt him to a crisp

Locked in the attic, he’s now essentially charred meat

M.A.T.H. removes that gross corpse and even tags the feet

Is your spouse annoying, and a general bore

Can't take care of a mess and aggressively snores

Did you tie them up tight and hit them with a hammer

We clean up the body so you can avoid the slammer

We understand that by now there some general concern

In the collection of corpses, What could law enforcement learn

We only keep location, time, and person in our possession

To collect motive and weapon is not our profession

So what about Sue, that annoying lady from work

All she does is complain, grimace, and lurk

Instead of hiding her in spaces that are unexplainable

Deal with her in ways that aren't completely detainable

Then there’s Jeff, the guy that serves you drinks

His facial hair is weird and his breath stinks

Killing him might seem like an escalation

To M.A.T.H it is all part of our business operation

Finally, your neighbor with the annoying dog

His house is a graveyard, his wife a hog

With little to look forward to in life

We will handle his body and you handle his strife

We don't endorse murder, that’s not what we’re saying

The collection of corpses is the service that your paying

Leave us little evidence or not a body that’s been stabbed

We kinda still have to tell the police about everything we've grabbed

Our product - Food

M.A.T.H makes the food that everyone eats

When it comes to variety, your choice is concrete

With all other food poisonous, cancerous, or causing cavities

We’re pretty sure you’ll be satisfied with food that lacks those depravities

For our people paste, M.A.T.H. offers a variety of flavors

The selection of taste and texture that no-one savors

From red, purple, and then green

M.A.T.H.’s food brand paste keeps you stupid and leen

Red is nacho flavored, cheesy and sweet

Made primarily from the tongue, liver, and feet

Not crunchy or chewy, the texture is bland

The goop taste like cheese, but eats like sand

Green is pickle flavored, a tangy taste to digest

Brain and liver, we put your stomach to the test

With non-visible matter that doesn’t sit well

We add preservatives, probiotics and laxative so you don’t visibly swell

How about purple, the flavor is grape, and its disgusting

Who knows what we put in it, some of its rusting

Its basically the stuff that we have left turned into a cream

With the highest mortality rate, Purple’s the reason we have a legal team

All of our food is tasty and edible

Its GMO free and genetically pure and incredible

For the more astute, we removed the iron and human limiters

Our health department warned the legal team death was an inhibitor

We took the health effects cannibalism into approximation

M.A.T.H just assumed eating people was better than global starvation

Our Product - Blue

And now M.A.T.H.’s miracle product, the blue stuff

It runs like godzilla shit, and is dangerous to huff

Smack it with a bat, and it crumbles to dust

Its not sturdy, steady, or tough

Functionally a power source, builder, transporter, and cheap

Ethically horrifying, but technologically a huge leap

So the first question one might ask, how might it have been discovered?

There is a relatively succinct tale for how this material was uncovered

Steve fell into a tub past out and left human waste

A hooker’s body and blow congealed and formed a strange paste

It turned green then purple and this left steve amused

He threw in a microwave, and the contents instantly fused

Steve stood flabbergasted and jittery

His constitution still accelerated

Amazed and amused with what he had created

Suddenly the goop began to glow and the microwave activated

It stayed on for three hours, and the hooker’s body evaporated

Steve went about the process of collecting hookers and blow

Legally, Smith was careful that his actions didn’t show

With a pile of hookers and cocaine at hand

He easily met New York City’s growing demands

The blue stuff built skyscrapers, apartments, and power stations

In building the last, Steve discovered something with great elation

The mixture of cocaine and persons was variable in efficiency

Remove too much blow, and there was a detectable deficiency

Steve legalized all drugs and the tanks filled with in a week

The goop multiplied and then the tank began to leek

NYC was glowing blue, an outcome steve had not anticipated

The city slowly melting, the mayor cruel and aggravated

While steve was canoeing on various interns , our CEO made an interesting discovery

One that sent his career into an instant recovery

The speech writer, coffee graber, and secretary fastened tightly

Melting quickly, moving slowly, glowing brightly

NYC, and Steve, were entering remission

Steve searched his persons for any addition

Milk was the only additive to the current rendition

With the slightest drip of milk, blue began to harden and then accelerated

Steve currently being wisped away by the staff member’s he had recently mutilated

Soon the subway, city, and even bay were solid blue

Half the town gone, the other half stuck above the brew

Steve skated to the mayor's office, the writers arms were fantastic

The mayor yelled at Steve, Steve noted the situation was drastic

Thinking quickly, Steve blamed a chemical calculation

The timing and blow a bit low, the bodies needed filtration

He showed him the town, and then they took a ride on the writers arms

The mayor smiling shook his hand and told him he had done little harm

With his concoction in place Steve was an instant success

The world is now built on, runs by, and is fueled without distress

Everything powered and built without care

Goods and service cheap, politics fair

Hiring Policy 1B

When hiring, there are a few things that M.A.T.H considers

Height, weight, and eye color all part of the decision

Workplace experience and references are a factor

M.A.T.H. makes damn sure that identity is not a detractor

Women first

Not to be chauvinistic of chivalric, just trying to be polite

We respect your boobs, and are totally not uptight

M.A.T.H understands the need for women in the work space

HR is an open ear, and totally understands his place

We're cool with black people!

Singular, strong, and intellectual

Politically involved and socially intersectional

Culturally bought and politically retreated

You are as free as you are economically depleted

M.A.T.H. welcomes Mexicans!

Spanish, Hispanic, Latino

In identity, they are totally not the same

Indian, sorry Native American by heritage, European by name

Hard Working, passionate, and socially unappreciated

The value of your cultural and economic input totally depreciated

What about white people?

Not Italian, English, or Bavarian

You are the strange mix of Caucasian and Aryan

Poorly equipped and culturally inept

You lack social increment and political depth

Last but not least Asian

Wait what were we talking about

Culturally and technologically you have civilization to tout

Socially, racially, and ethnically divisible

Continently and globally you are nearly invisible

Currently done with quantifying the categories

H.R. can dispense with identitarian scattergories

For M.A.T.H, identity totally doesn't add to workplace division

Diversity breeds productivity through passive political fission

Risk and Liability Statement

M.A.T.H manages the worlds corpses, trash, waste

Housing, transportation, energy, education, and food paste

To manage damages within this system we employs two acts

The first obvious, the second simple fact

We avoid drama with our managerial tact

Firstly, we apologize with each and every error

This prevents general anger and acts of industrial terror

If you find our factories or see us out at night

We apologize, pat you on the back, and tell you you’re alright

The bodies, bundles, batches, and spills are the primary concern

Apologies, in general, cover everything that doesn't burn

We smash, transport, and kill whatever we can hide

For the rest, M.A.T.H simply says "We're sorry" and hopes you let it slide

The second tactic is simply more effective

M.A.T.H's very existence is necessary for the collective

Each mistake forgivable and transgression corrective

You have no idea how much they put up with under that perspective

The people factory leaked out into the ocean

Metric tons of human waste and corpses violently in motion

We put orange tape around the west, the surface was chimeric

California threw a fit, until we hosted a party, the effect mesmeric

Now brownish-red person water is considered fairly generic

For everything else we have a guy named clive

He handles all our risk with every paper he signs

He's a genius with every stroke, a master of his craft

If anything ever happens, Clive immediately gets the shaft

Clive spends his days huddled in a corner until he hears the sign gong

Survivability is a factor, you might say it is a wonder he's kept going this long

Three years down without an end in sight

He's survived a fission reaction, a knifing, and a radioactive wolf bite