(I cringed too)
Beautiful Men
The crossover from masculine to the stereotypically feminine can have negative effects
The crossover from masculine to the stereotypically feminine can have negative effects
In the 21st century, the masculine sphere has been completely castrated. The jock of the 20th century is a social pariah, and the nerd of the 90s has either become emotionally/socially competent or an unfuckable MRA. The old archetypes are dying off and have been qualified and banished into the subforums of the deepweb. A new masculine extremophile has emerged from the sulfur pits of the post-nerd post-jock era and I call dibs on quantifying it. Enter, the “Beautiful Man”.
He is Beautiful
Lotion, musk, toner, and clothing make up the majority of the Beautiful Man’s budget. Fashionable enough to buy a shirt, fit enough to lift 180 pounds, and socially competent enough to shower the Beautiful Man is the perfect image of plasticity. The resulting soft skinned muscle bound man is the perfect balance of in touch and touchability for the 21st century women to touch.
Lotion, musk, toner, and clothing make up the majority of the Beautiful Man’s budget. Fashionable enough to buy a shirt, fit enough to lift 180 pounds, and socially competent enough to shower the Beautiful Man is the perfect image of plasticity. The resulting soft skinned muscle bound man is the perfect balance of in touch and touchability for the 21st century women to touch.
Not nerd and not gay
Similar to the gamer chick, the Beautiful Man has consumed enough nerdy things to be socially competent in the modern entertainment sphere. The Beautiful Man plays popular video games, goes to comic book movies, and watches at least one HBO show. They aren’t just muscle dweeps, attractive off-man dudes know women things too. They watch the Bachelor and are musically aware of the various house varieties, with a preference to tropic house. The Beautiful man orders sophisticated drinks, reads the deepest yahoo news posts, and can maintain conversation in two minute bits with females. Complicated enough to have a personality, but not enough to be human, the Beautiful Men are the perfect off-fuckboi to feel socially responsible. They definitely don’t fuck doods.
The beautiful man knows respectful social and physical boundaries with men. They know gay people, or have at least seen them in public. In social spheres, they awkwardly high five them and aggressively hit on women in the bar (so that the gay men know who is gay). Feminine enough to be emotionally available, but not enough to fuck dudes is the perfect amount for the Beautiful Man.
The beautiful man knows respectful social and physical boundaries with men. They know gay people, or have at least seen them in public. In social spheres, they awkwardly high five them and aggressively hit on women in the bar (so that the gay men know who is gay). Feminine enough to be emotionally available, but not enough to fuck dudes is the perfect amount for the Beautiful Man.
Emotionally and socially competent
The Beautiful Man has cried before. He has muscle tone and emotional complexity. One-sided talks about feelings are perfect for before sex and after food. The Beautiful Man hides his binary emotional range of fuck to hungry with interesting musical conversations and complex social interactions like “hello”. Compliments are completely plutonic and the Beautiful Man is more than aware of how the modern work dynamic effects women of color in typically male dominated spheres. Socially aware enough to have read twitter and socially brave enough to lean into your boobs, the Beautiful Man is the perfect partner and potential mate of the future. He also pays for your drinks and finds that ironic.
(I’m aware of how meninisty this one sounds, its not…)
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